My First Breath

If you have not read my first post about the Nuss procedure, you can read it here. Quick recap: I had a Haller Index of 15.5, my heart was displaced to the left, and I got the Nuss procedure on May 15th, 2025. It has now been a little over a year since that surgery. So, how is it going? Let’s get into it.

The Wall

As the surgery date got closer, I started noticing something weird: I could not take a full, deep breath. I would breathe in, and at some point it felt like I hit a wall…just stuck. Was it always like that? Probably. Did I ever notice it before? Nope. But it is one of those things where once you notice it, you cannot un-notice it, and every time I tried to take a deep breath after that, there it was. The wall.

Fast forward to one year post-op, and I can take a full, deep breath. The first time it happened, I was not even trying. My lungs felt 100% full of air. I sat there for a second thinking, oh, so this is what it is supposed to feel like. Nineteen-ish years of breathing, and it felt like I was learning to breathe again. In a way, I kind of am. I have a bad habit of forgetting to breathe whenever I am completely locked in on something. This happened before Nuss too, but back then, when I caught myself and went for a “deep breath,” I felt relief. Looking back, I do not know if I actually felt any relief or my body was just used to the shallowness of my breath.

Now when it happens, I have to consciously remind myself to breathe deeper than before, which is pretty weird. It is like my body has not gotten the memo yet that there is more room in there, which is pretty ironic considering how much complaining it did when the two bars got rammed into my chest cavity. Buuuut, I digress. Even now, I sometimes get these air hunger-esque episodes where I know I am breathing, but due to the shallowness of my breaths, my body is not feeling a sufficient amount of air. The sensation reminds me of playing the baritone (a sister instrument to the trombone) when I had like 20% air remaining and my body was like, what you doing bro, i need air soon.

The Bars Are Like Braces

Before the surgery, people kept telling me, “the bars are like braces.” When you get braces, they are uncomfortable for a bit. A little ice here and there, then you forget they are even there.

For the first six months post Nuss or so, I was like, “that is definitely NOT the case.” Kind of like when the professor gives a practice exam that is nothing like the actual exam. Braces do not send you to the emergency room. Braces do not make you relearn how to brush your teeth, shower, let alone how to breathe. Braces do not make you sleep on your back for weeks. So yeah, to put it lightly, I was not buying it.

That being said, as I have gotten further into my journey, I can see why people say that. One year later, I feel back to normal. Most days, I do not even think about the bars. They are just…there. Kind of like braces, I guess. I still do not fully agree with the comparison, but I get it now.

Misaligned Incentives

A Little Backstory

In middle school and early high school, I was very active. I played sports. I was outside. As the pectus grew deeper, and as I got into high school with harder classes and more studying, I became more and more sedentary. It slowly progressed to the point where I did not really want to leave the house. Not all at once. Just a little bit less each year, until it became the norm.

Their Expectations vs. Mine

My parents thought the Nuss procedure would fix all of that. New chest, new person. In the back of my mind, I think they thought this would be a light switch. Surgery happens, recovery happens, and boom…the switch flips: suddenly, I’m back outside playing sports and going to the gym.

My incentive? The first breath. That was it. I wanted to be able to breathe the way I was supposed to, without thinking about it, without the wall, without pain, now or in the future. I was not expecting a personality transplant along with the bars.

My Gym Experiences

Before the Nuss, I tried exercising. I hated it. People always say that after a workout, you feel energized and refreshed, and there is a small part of you that wants to go again at some point. For me? As soon as I start exercising, I want to leave. If you are a visual learner, this gif is the best way I can describe it. There is no small part of me that wants to go again even after finishing a workout.

Did that change after the surgery? Nope. I have been pretty sedentary post-surgery. The only reason I am walking at all is because of college and having to get from place to place. On busy days, I sometimes hit the so-called magic 10,000 steps, a number people act like turns you into a health guru or something. Never mind that I’m just walking to class, not transcending into fitness enlightenment.

That is the disconnect. The surgery fixed my chest. It did not fix my habits. Those will take time to change, and it will not be instant. I think that is something my parents and I are both slowly learning.

Conclusion & Reflection

So, one year later, where am I? I can breathe. Like, actually breathe. I feel back to normal, and the bars have (mostly) earned the braces comparison. At the same time, I am still the same person who wants to leave the gym the second I walk in. And I think that is okay. The Nuss procedure was never going to be a light switch. It gave me a chest that works the way it should and a breath I did not even know I was missing. What I do with that is on me, and it is going to take time. I am just happy that my life is basically back to baseline. The first six months after surgery were pretty rough on me so the fact I was able to complete a full year of grueling university is a small win in my books.

Thank you for reading this blog post. I appreciate it if you made it to the end. If you are just starting your Nuss journey, hang in there, it does get better! If you do not have pectus but made it this far, go take a deep breath. Trust me, it is worth noticing.